December 29, 2014 § Leave a comment
from 35mm – toycam (toys r us kids point and shoot with a helluva light leak)
plants with roots getting used to new soil- new pots. bigger pots to give the stems backbones. bigger pots so more branches, more leaves.
new living situation. t&t hold hands towards the same fridge, touch backs, shoulders, and foreheads at night. plug in the christmas lights. drink from the same glasses and breathe in modified BQE air. hail northern brooklyn, a safe hail of headlights through the night panes. my paintings on our walls. friends drawings framed and present. new colors that control mornings. gray and orange, spackled and papered.
drowning in the arms of career. career, careen, carousel. there is a feeling of drowning when an 8 year old is in my arms. there is a feeling of lifting myself up at the end of the day. conversations about racial injustice, the creation of safe communities. these kids are telling me that they are in love with the coco, that shmurda was locked up, that their bunnies and kittens are soft at home. nothing for me is soft at home, but i’m safe at home at that’s embroidered on my diploma, the edge of my flannel collar, the shaved back of my head.
in the summer i put a circle around me. bare feet and whole bodies. we were in a lake, we were under the map of stars. we were drunk on words and buzzed on light. someone held my hand. we watched the moths swarm.
glad to know this, glad to bury myself in the buzz of light.